Time

Thirteen years ago today, I said goodnight to my dad. Twenty minutes later I was giving him CPR, and I had no innate idea of what I was doing but the lady I had on speakerphone through 911 was walking me through it; I was all alone. I’m not sure how long it was after that the ambulance showed up, but he was already gone, and I knew it in my heart even before I called for help. It’s a curious thing what time will do, how in some moments it will stretch, some it will shrink, and in some it will completely vanish, seemingly all in our favour. Time offered itself to me in every which way that night except the one I needed most…for it to rewind.
- A dear friend of mine, who has since passed, once told me that he would give anything he could, even years off his own life, just to sit across the table from his late father and share a meal. He even shook his finger at me and told me not to fuck around and take time for granted. Maybe I had taken time for granted, maybe that’s why time paid me such a powerful lesson that night with my father. -
I went on to dab myself with two drops of my dads’ aftershave every day until the bottle ran dry. I slept with his blanket and pillows until they were tattered. I wore his slippers, even outdoors, until the soles wore out. Nothing worked, nothing brought me closer to him than the time we once shared, which would all become memories with more and more time in between then and the continued sense of now, the only little piece of time that we ever really have. People often think that death brings people closer together, but it doesn’t, it’s life that does that, along with our ignorance of time. Life is for the living, it’s where people meet, fall in love, it’s where people gather to celebrate, or gather to mourn, but that’s life, that’s not death. Death is its own journey, but death is for the dead, death is without time, but in due time for us all. We all have a wonderful opportunity here to join with time and create a beautiful space, for love, for joy, for peace, for celebration, and even for mourning. I believe in my heart that we need each other, and I believe that time is as dependant on us as we are on it. I believe that each of us owe time a great debt of gratitude, and kindness, love, and peace, and joy, celebration, and harmony. We can’t always choose the circumstances or the terrain of our journey here through life and time, but we do have the opportunity, in each moment, to choose how we respond to it all. - A puddle is a nuisance to some and a playground for others.
Be kind and take care of each other, we are all in need.
Peace & Love.